How often have you said or been told, "God won't give you more than you can handle."?
I bet it's a LOT.
Wanna know how many times I've heard it? About a zillion and ten, I think.
Wanna know something interesting?
It's not even true!
WHOA! I just blew your mind, didn't I?
That isn't what the passage of the bible says at all! It says God will not let you be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear, and that He will always give you a way out.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
So you tell me ... when I say "I'm so tired of having cancer. I'm sick of being sick. Tired of being tired. Why won't God release me from this and heal me?" what exactly does that passage in Corinthians have to do with ANYTHING?
Oh wait ... I know ... NOTHING!! I'm not tempted, and I'm not sinning. (well ... ok, I sin ... but I'm not sinning when I'm tired of being sick)
God WILL most certainly give us more than we can bear. Yes He will.
Wanna know why?
Because when we are weak, we are made strong IN HIM. Because when we get tired and quit, He takes over. When we can admit that there is NO WAY we can bear up through our trials ... but that God is faithful and ever present ... we are giving Him the glory.
He deserves the glory. Without Him by our sides, how would we ever get through any of this ... this ... crap we call life?
In 2 Corinthians, the 7th chapter, it says that God comforts the depressed.
Not that He removes all sadness and despair. He doesn't tell us our faith is lacking. He doesn't tell us to buck up and move on. He doesn't even say "I'll never give you more than you can handle."
He just comforts us. Picture a sad kid. Picture his daddy picking him up and holding him and comforting him until the tears stop. God does that for us.
I'm genuinely grateful for the people in my life who try to comfort me and offer encouragement. I love that people care enough to try. It's beautiful. It's humbling. It makes my heart warm and my day brighter.
But you can't fix it. None of you can. Offering up platitudes and cliches doesn't heal cancer. I don't want to be told that God won't give me more than I can handle, because He HAS. So much more than I can handle on my own. More than I ever would've thought I could survive, never mind handle gracefully. More than most people could even imagine. More. Much more.
Wanna know what bible verse I'd rather you memorize and use?
Romans 12:15 (New International Version)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
That's all. Just be sad with me. Be tired of this journey, like I am. Hold my hand and just LET me sad. Because I am sad. I am scared. And that's ok. Because God comforts me in my sadness. No one can "fix" it ... but God will see me through it.
Next time a friend comes to you with a broken heart, a broken spirit, a sad story, or in pain, will you please not tell him that God won't give him more than he can handle. Would you please just love them where they are. Just mourn WITH them, like the bible tells us to do.
Thanks.
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10 comments:
(((((JES))))
i try, i really do.
Jesi I love you!! I really really really love you!! Thank you for coming to my defense also. I already feel like a horrible person because this is hard...not cancer hard but hard. I am TIRED. I am OVERWHELMED. I feel guilty for having to work so much. I hate this..I hate that this is my life! It is temporary and I try to remind myself of that but OMW I am tired.
If I hear one more person say that phrase to me, I'm tempted to puke. I've had it said to me a thousand times. I hate that "saying".
((((((((((((((jes)))))))))))))))
Golly jeeze, that is a good post! I have to send a friend over to read it!! She feels the same way. The one that gets her the most...It will get better. Her reply...How do you freakin people know it will get better and easier? Are YOU God? Can YOU heal me? People usually slink away after that and all I can do is laugh. I know I shouldn't but it cracks me up everytime.
Love this post (just found your blog somehow...not sure how...)! So sick of hearing all the airy-fairy so-called christian feel-good crap everyone spews. Thanks for sharing, and I am looking forward to reading your blog :)
I'm glad all my friends are atheists because I would smack someone for saying that to me lol.
((Jes))
Excellent post,Jesica! I agree 100%.
Another thing I'm sick of hearing is "Well, at least you're alive," whenever I mention anything at all about going through cancer treatment. I got that constantly when I was in remission, as though having fought cancer and won, I should simply be grateful to be alive and never again mention the disease or any of the battle I went through. Now that the cancer is back, most people have turned away. They just can't deal with it. It was hard enough for them when I had a 95% chance of beating it; now that I've been told I have maybe 2-3 years left, statistically speaking, it's impossible.
Oh, well...my life is in God's hands. :-)
Hugs,
Loretta in GA
Yes this post is right on!
Loretta, regarding people who say, "At least your alive...." What do they say to Phillipians 1 where Paul says, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain...My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better."
Everyone, check these out if you want to hear some of the best sermons I have ever heard on suffering:
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/suffering-to-bless
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/suffering-to-learn
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/suffering-to-serve
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/suffering-to-worship
Jes:
Once again, your wisdom wows me.
Thanks for sharing this Jes.
That's a very good point, Scott! :-) Dying won't be a tragedy for me, because I know where I'm going--even though I do hope to spend some more time here with my husband and daughter. I don't think people mean to be so annoying with these comments. They just don't know any better, I suppose.
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